Day 192

Hello, hello! I'm alive! So, this morning.............. I got up in a pool of my own blood and thought "well, at least I’m not pregnant anymore." But as I fully woke up, I realised that I was never pregnant in the first place. I was just having my period. Then while putting product in my hair, I thought "this feels strange today" and looked at my dresser and realised that I'd just put a huge fucking wad of body lotion in my hair. My hair is now mad flat and mad greasy.

It looks like it's going to be one of those days.... Does how crazy you act depend on how much blood you bleed during your period? Cause that would explain a lot.

Anywayzies, it's been 2 weeks now, since the start of my second semester at college. I've been busy with school assignments. (At least that's what I like to tell everyone and myself.) If you've been keeping up here, it will come as no surprise to you that I've thrown out most of the useless and meaningless things in my room. (And life.)

The entire world around me is now sorted, organized and labeled. My room remains the same size- As big as a Topshop dressing room, but not nearly as modern or bright. Unlike before, I don't have to say a prayer and hope my watch reappears sooner rather than 6 days later anymore. On most days, I know exactly what I want, and I'll find it 55% of the time. The statistics aren't THAT impressive, but it's a good feeling.

The cleaning process was long, dusty and painful. Carrying your shoe rack across the room and sifting through a basket of sweet writings and drawings will give you all sorts of muscle aches. Having the muscle tone of a Jerry's kid is pathetic. Saying "delete the dude from your life" is commendable. Going on to actually doing it takes serious skills and some self- determination. (In my case, a lot of self- determination.) I just don't know if I can trust myself..... Especially on days when I wake up in a pool of my own blood/rainy days.

Anyway, this has been on repeat for too many days now. Every remix by AEROPLANE is out of this world. And this cover's play count is in the top ten. I'm on a roll here. I think I might even write my EoM essay that was due on Tuesday. Bye!