Day 160

So........ Recently, there have been some rumors circulating about how I "came home and slept in the garden. LMAO" last Saturday night. I'd like to clear the air by issuing a statement denying this perplexing and appalling rumor- It's just impossible. Really, I am Justine, and just fyi I have been rocking it since '92. (I actually slept on the bench in our verandah.) (Ahahaha!)

Thinking that I'd managed to deceive the vicious vigilance of my family, was a little intoxicating. Coming home and then realising that I'd been locked out of the house......... Deliberately............... By the people I love the most/my own family/(prime suspect) Stu, was even more intoxicating. Although that may partly have been the lasting effects of the night's Vodka Red Bull, unclear.

As per normal, my dad and I went for the 7 AM mass at church. (It's hard to miss a snoring daughter in your verandah as you are on your way out of the house.) As per not normal, he refused to talk to me or even "peace" me at mass. Hoping to minimize the damage, I sang out loud to every hymn. (I usually sing in my head. With my eyes closed.) As we are leaving church, my dad turned and said to me, "Justine, you are an irritant". We are tight once more and God works in mysterious ways. Word!

My family is so loving in a strange way, but I accept. Remember this act of love? I know I probably shouldn't say this, but I feel compelled to. Your mother is in your bones, Kor Kor Stu. (Our mom? Ignoring the family legend; assuming that you are not 'Korean baby switched at birth in New Mexico', and that I am not 'a baby mom and dad picked up from the dustbin'.)

In other news, I was finally taught to inhale the other day. How embarrassing, but Jebus! NOT INHALING totally did not hurt like INHALING! I'm aware that this may prompt my family to start something called the S.S.B.S. Foundation, so I'll end off with an anti- smoking message from me to you:

Quit smoking! It'll make you really ugly, really fast. I think I'd almost rather you develop a sex addiction instead- With condoms, of course. It would be less harmful to your health. I don't care if you think it makes you look cool, if it's your nervous outlet, if you're trying to piss your parents off, or if it's how you're staying thin. Go to Watsons, Guardian, your local pharmacy, the closest drug store and get the patch! Then go here and order yourself a whole crate of Taste- T- Picks. Bite on your pens in the meantime, while waiting for them to arrive. Good luck! Haggard, wasted, wrinkled smokers won't be allowed to read this blog anymore. So get it the fuck together! There's no excuse to light up!!

That's all. I love you! XOXO

S.S.B.C. Foundation