Oh God, I'm sprawled out on the floor of my bedroom and my (defiant) inner voice won't shut up. All I crave is silence and some direction, but instead I nag myself at full volume, against my own wishes. Failure! Rejection! Loss! Sex! Confucianism! Body! Foes! Self- reproach! Boys! Forlornness! Girls! Vices! Calories! Violence! Perfection! Validation! Posse! Obsessions! Do- overs! Zits! Love! Unrequited love! Money! ............
I'm so sick of myself and I'm feeling a bit freakish right now. Some of you (mainly Nigel, Jon, and the people who are not friends of Justine/can't do multiple cartwheels) are going to leave me comments about how I look like a complete doofus. I may decide to tone down my look a notch. Or maybe I'll amp it up. No idea. According to the World Fact Book, I'm supposed to leave this world in 2069. Brutal. I wonder if by then I'd have accomplished everything that I'd set out to accomplish.
This is either a vitamin deficiency or severe depression. Or a combination of both.
As a (frail) attempt to prepare myself for my China Studies exam happening tomorrow, I spent the entire week using chopsticks instead of a fork at dinners. I've drawn the conclusion that on average, 35% of food falls into other places that are not the mouth and dinners are extended by at least 20 minutes, explaining the weekend we spent a grand total of 16 finger lickin' good minutes at KFC and something like 3 hours at Din Tai Fung. (Was that last sentence too long?)
Anyway, I quoted Batman in my General Paper essay this morning. I then had a private moment of rage in my seat while the invigilator collected the exam scripts, and made a promise to myself to never again quote any of the Justice League members in my future essays. Fortunately, I was quickly comforted upon hearing that Charlotte quoted Lilo from Lilo & Stitch. ("Ohana means family, family means nobody gets left behind. Or forgotten.") We'll most likely stop surfing youtube.com in the library and start attending lectures next term.
I also just want to mention for fun that a few weeks ago I embedded a code on this space that tracks my visitors. So in a way, I have been stalking you. The internet has gotten so wicked within the last decade! Eg: When I was 6 years old, we had to wait 40 minutes for our computer to start up. When I was 13 years old, we stopped turning our computer off altogether.
Yuh ok, have a nice day!
Whoa that first paragraph was kind of disturbing. Hahahaha! Yea chopsticks can get pretty messy! What's wrong with quoting batman?? Haha. Oh and I completely love that photo! (3rd from the top, right column.)
ReplyDeleteyou call at 2 am to scream at me over the phone.hahahahah spastic
ReplyDeletesuch charming pictures
ReplyDeletehello messy hair justine
ReplyDeleteyour email is taking a long time to load.i've introduced you to the kids who hang out in the next apartment.vietnam loves you.i fly to romania to see roberta and lou and the other less important romanians.natalia LONG DISTANCE CALLED me the other night.
ReplyDelete(natalia is a silent admirer here.hi natalia i miss you so much.your eyes are beautiful.i will email you soon.)
by the way reinard as in canadian reinard?
fill me in on the details here i will probably check back here rather than my email.steve
Definitely a friend of Justine.
ReplyDeleteChopsticks impede! Essays with good grades generally contain quotes by politicians, people who have invented things(light bulb/air conditioning/elevators), eco warriors, etc. But, they might make an exception! Cross your fingers.
You're the best human for staying on the line.
Stop breaking hearts, Rei.
Hi Linn! I house 2 red- breasted parakeets in my hair. Do you give shelter to any sort of animal??
How is Vietnam? There is this sort of cute guy in my school. He's Vietnamese. Tell me again when you are in Romania, I want to say hi myself! I'm happy for you and Natalia. She called me too over the weekend. But it was not a long distance phone call. It was more of an Orchard Road- Seletar Hills kind of phone call.
Yes, Canadian Rei. He breaks an average of 6 hearts, daily!!! Make him stop.
I still wonder if This is It:
I wonder, if This is It, why is It so difficult to work? Does this mean that This is Not It?
Then I wonder, if This is Not It, why is It so difficult to leave? Does this mean that This is It?
I continue to wonder.
Being friends has been awful. It takes too much self discipline and self control. Sometimes I think I don't know how to be 'just friends'. Erasing/deleting is not even an option. I think I might be in a rut.
At least I'm going to have some fun this weekend=) Take care and don't forget about Sunday. (Unless you are going to be above Pacific ocean.) Get Greg, we sure do miss him. *ZINGGGGGG*
you're really cool
ReplyDeletetake your megateen baby i hate seeing you sad
ReplyDeletethat was me
ReplyDeletethe cool cat nigel
Study study study. I need to study!
ReplyDeleteOhhhhhhh ma gad, how did I *forget* to tease him about the pictures? I like the ones toward the end of the album best cause everyone looks the happiest
Nigel, you really are some kind of dick. (My holidays are here!!!) *ZINGGGG* and MORE *ZINGGGGGGGGG*
we ll ask for more forks the next time we are at dintai fung
ReplyDeleteno i eat them mwahahahaha. ew i cant imagine eating smth frm ur hair.
ReplyDeleteyour last pic look like the miley cyrus naked pic. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.
ReplyDeleteHARD ON
ReplyDeletecool cat
bex,have a banana!!!!!hahahah and enough ah nigel dog
ReplyDeleteserene is not a friend of justine and steven is a god.......
oscar
hahah siglap is cool.
ReplyDeletebex