Day 107

That prick Andrew is out of my life. I can't explain what I'm feeling right now, but I'll try. For starters, I want to put 5 or 6 or 7 (or more, I don't know. I can't decide) bullets through his heart. No, let's get specific- His aorta, his left ventricle, his right ventricle, his left auricle, his right auricle, I really don't know, actually........ I haven't done Biology since I was 14.

I'm obviously only kidding, hmmm?

More importantly, we have to forge on. Life is long if you don't get into a car accident, OD on heroin/crack cocaine/Vicodin/Percocet, or die of AIDS. I went to Carrefour and bought a classic Rubik's cube, some super tight, black sports bras and a jump rope. Even if your eyeballs ache and sting from all the crying you have been doing, eat some (or a bucket of) frozen yogurt, and then get a soy chai tea latte right after. Maybe try The Master Cleanse, but only if you won't turn into an even crabbier person. (Diets make people crabby.) Call your mom if she isn't evil, call someone else if she is- Do a Pilates video together. (Take charge of your life! Forge on.)

Anyway, my mom and I are at the peak of our quarterly mother- daughter face- off. (Face- off from last quarter of 2008 here.)

Log of mom's personal attack on Justine
Day 104: Denied Justine Amelia
Day 105: Threw out a significant proportion of Justine's closet, while Justine was out eating sushi. (Sneaky sneaky sly sly.)
Day 106: Force fed Justine (type O blood) wheat, which is like poison to people with type O blood. (Some famous people with type O blood are John Lennon, Elvis Presley, Queen Elizabeth II and Al Capone)
Day 107: Denied Justine Amelia, again.

Log of Justine's personal attack on Mom
Day 107: Broke TV remote.

Have to go. Take care over the weekend!

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