Day 071

I hate phones. Contrary to this, I think I may get a new cell phone because the one I'm currently using is a shit. Sidetracking a bit: Trust me when I say this, but you do not want to be speaking at volume 14 into a crappy cell phone on the train, giving tampon insertion advice to your girl. People will stare at you like as though you have a second nose on your forehead. Where's their cool? Ummm..... Harrow! HI! Heh, it's so demode to still be using sanitary pads, when the first decade of the 21st century is already coming to an end. Get with the program- It's tampons or die, gals.

As I was saying, I hate phones. Stevie loved them- He used to ring me up at something AM and just breathe into the mouthpiece. This would go on for hours, and I would just put the phone down on my table and let him continue. He would fall asleep eventually and his sister would hang up.

On some days he'd pretend to be a salesman and say "Would you like to buy my vacuum cleaner?". Certain days, I might indulge him and say "Why yes, I would like to buy a vacuum cleaner. How much do they cost?". (I sort of speak in italics when I'm half asleep.) Of course he wouldn't say anything more, as though he was an actor with stage fright who let his next line escape him. Then I would say "Steve, I am tired of this nonsense, I am hanging up", and he would only continue breathing.

He's out of the country most months of the year now, and neither of us can afford the international calling rates. (We love email. Skype is okay. MSN is dead to us.) Also, we've both found other people we love speaking to at something AM.

All right, it was fun while it lasted- Writing about phones and tampons on the internet. It's not fun anymore. I'll be going. Have a good Friday.

Become a pal.