Today I woke up at 6:30, 8:55, 9:38, 11:00, 11:05, 11:10, and 11:19. So far, I've had about 13 cups of tea. I just got back from the longest pee of my life. I'm sorry if this is too graphic for you. Anyway, last night I thought that I was going to maybe join a Pilates class, as a feeble attempt to incorporate exercise into my life. But then, I decided No. No, I will not join a Pilates class.
Besides deciding against signing up for a Pilates class, I've decided that I am officially entering a phrase of active, nonviolent noncooperation. I am embarking on a campaign of civil disobedience. I am, in short, going to stop buying fries from McDonald's until their Cone prices fall back down to 50 cents per cone. Seriously, with bank stocks and shares dipping so dangerously low these days, an overpriced ice cream cone is not cool. (Am I the only one who feels this way?)
Anyway I think more recently, a lot of us have started seeing food as alien, requiring visas and security guards before allowing entry into the mouth. Like it or not, the size of your thighs defines your placement on the Hawt or Nawt list. (The list is real, no matter what yo momma tells ya.) And personally, I want to be a size -14.
Remember though, eating food is not a crime! It just puts you at a serious disadvantage. So, if you must eat, I suggest that alfresco cafe in town that serves a wicked turkey wrap and panna cotta. (Yea, that cafe.) It's totally rad and 99% fat free, or something. Only sexy people eat there! Although, I strongly do not recommend you go for the panna cotta if you are trying to shed pounds really fierce.
And, please keep hydrated! Drink at least 1.5 L of water daily. Keep watch for Dream Smashers who will try to smash your dreams and bum out your new water incentive by telling you that too much water will flush out all your vitamins and kill you. These are cheerless, jealous, and lame people. Just try to drink your water.
Wow, this has all been very pro- anorexia. What UP........ Anyway, I want to visit France sometime in my life. I don't necessarily care when, just as long as it happens.
Have to make some calls now. Lots of love
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