Day 030

I'm so glad that I'm an island now

Lisa wants me to put crazy runs in her stockings, even though I was right there when her mother said quite clearly that that is not the look she wants Lisa having. Like neon coloured sneakers, glossy tights, stretching your ear piercing, gladiator sandals, purple highlights, same- sex relationships, dressing in black only and tie- dye crap, I think this is all just a phase. Lisa, I will put crazy runs in your stockings! I will help you with your teenage rebellion, because I do not have it in me to start my own teenage rebellion at home. (And I also hope you will introduce me to your cute new neighbour with the hot bod. Ha...... Thnx.)

Andrew and I have been bickering all week. I'm not sure if it's healthy for 2 people to be fighting so much. Right before I fell asleep last night, I called him a "shit eating asshole". I woke up this morning with a throbbing headache. The lesson to learn here is that one should never call another a "shit eating asshole" so late in the night.

And in the afternoon today, right after "How was your day?", "I got full marks for my POA test!" and "Well done.", Andrew accused me of being really annoying. So I did what any other girl would do, and told him to eat slugs. And like any other boy, unfamiliar with the magical significance of "Eat slugs", he told me to "Eat worms". (When they say "Eat slugs" in Harry Potter, they really mean "Fuck off". You can check it out for yourself on the official Hogwarts webpage, baby.)

I think I am finally mom'd out. During the car ride to Karen's, after we'd indulged in dosai at Little India, I had to focus all my energy into preventing myself from flinging myself out of our moving car.

And for all the dudes and gross girlies: Don't pick your nose! Especially not in your car. The definition of a car is not "wheeled motor vehicle that makes you invisible". People can see you. (Just an observation I made in the car today.)

I am running late, I must end now. Have a good weekend, everyone!

Day 029

Today I woke up at 6:30, 8:55, 9:38, 11:00, 11:05, 11:10, and 11:19. So far, I've had about 13 cups of tea. I just got back from the longest pee of my life. I'm sorry if this is too graphic for you. Anyway, last night I thought that I was going to maybe join a Pilates class, as a feeble attempt to incorporate exercise into my life. But then, I decided No. No, I will not join a Pilates class.

Besides deciding against signing up for a Pilates class, I've decided that I am officially entering a phrase of active, nonviolent noncooperation. I am embarking on a campaign of civil disobedience. I am, in short, going to stop buying fries from McDonald's until their Cone prices fall back down to 50 cents per cone. Seriously, with bank stocks and shares dipping so dangerously low these days, an overpriced ice cream cone is not cool. (Am I the only one who feels this way?)

Anyway I think more recently, a lot of us have started seeing food as alien, requiring visas and security guards before allowing entry into the mouth. Like it or not, the size of your thighs defines your placement on the Hawt or Nawt list. (The list is real, no matter what yo momma tells ya.) And personally, I want to be a size -14.

Remember though, eating food is not a crime! It just puts you at a serious disadvantage. So, if you must eat, I suggest that alfresco cafe in town that serves a wicked turkey wrap and panna cotta. (Yea, that cafe.) It's totally rad and 99% fat free, or something. Only sexy people eat there! Although, I strongly do not recommend you go for the panna cotta if you are trying to shed pounds really fierce.

And, please keep hydrated! Drink at least 1.5 L of water daily. Keep watch for Dream Smashers who will try to smash your dreams and bum out your new water incentive by telling you that too much water will flush out all your vitamins and kill you. These are cheerless, jealous, and lame people. Just try to drink your water.

Wow, this has all been very pro- anorexia. What UP........ Anyway, I want to visit France sometime in my life. I don't necessarily care when, just as long as it happens.

Have to make some calls now. Lots of love

Day 025

Amelia will be leaving us soon, to make waves in Australia. What are our chances of finding another wannabe Korean who doesn't have her own appendix? Now, this may come as a surprise to some of you and may even stun a few others, but the number of wannabe Koreans who've somehow managed to lose their own appendix is extremely low. (Just trying to keep it real here, everyone.)

Looking forward to seeing you in a few days, Amey. Even if it means no more hanging out, kicking it and chilling until your term breaks. I will start saving now for "expensive coffee"- Inside joke.

(I'm horrible at this.)

I'll be heading into the shower now. Happy midweek!

Ps- Sorry I revealed to everyone(my cousins, my brothers, Nut's dad(Wazzza, Uncle R?!), Eltjse and Alethea who are based in Malaysia, and a couple of other randoms who read this space) that you don't have an appendix, Amey. And just so you know, I think people with no appendices are Way Cool.

Day 023

This evening, I checked out an old man's ancient porn VCD collection and then tried to talk another into selling me an old Nokia cell phone for $3 at the Thieves' Market. When I got tired, I watched a group of evil loser teens try to burn each other with their high- tar, duty- unpaid cigarettes, as I sipped on lemongrass tea. Then one of them with a mohawk walked over, and started talking to me as if we used to go to kindergarten together, or something. My fascination with his mohawk eventually wore off. Instead of excusing myself for a minute while I pretended to take a call, I excused myself for forever and caught a train into the heartland.

On the train, I thought about the last time I ate rice- A few nights ago, picking at the grains that had fallen off Andrew's plate. So, maybe I'm not a rice person.

That's all! Sleep sweet, everyone.

Day 022

My brother ended up feeling unwell, and cancelled his birthday bash altogether. Life can be so unpredictable! I guess ultimately, starting your birthday celebrations 2 weeks before your actual birthday isn't the wisest thing to do.

Mom and I were over at Karen's place earlier in the day. It's just Molly and Quinn on most mornings now, so there's nearly no whining/fighting/crying. Freja gets home in time for lunch, with pasta necklaces for everyone. And then she and Molly fight over things like being The Princess and breastfeeding Quinn.

What else happened today? I finally hung my curtains up. I now have the luxury to choose between Having sunlight thrown onto my face at around 7- ish am (curtains not drawn) and Not having sunlight thrown onto my face at around 7- ish am (curtains drawn). I also threw out some old shoes and bags.

Not long ago, my mom came up with this ridiculous new household rule whereby if you buy something, you must throw out something else. Quite conveniently, this household rule applies to me only. (???? Yea... That's what I thought.) I've only declared like, a fifth of the things I've bought this week.

Going to have a shower now. Something good soon. Goodnight!

Day 021

Hey guys! I'm back from the slums! I was reading my recent posts, and thought "Gee.... What was I thinking, letting the incredibly boring and random left side of Me write here?".

I got up at cockcrow today, which is something I'm not used to anymore. My mom and I spent the morning baking Jarrold a cake, since it is his birthday today. Karen called about five hundred times. At first, expressing how upset she was that no invitation for Jarrold's birthday bash was extended to her. Then, trying to squeeze an invite out of mom. Mom stopped answering our house phone around 10 am. She then told me the story (for the millionth time) of a woman- that may or may not have existed- who died, after walking in the rain a week after she'd just given birth.

Anyway, Steven's back in Singapore for a couple of days, because he's got to feed his pet parakeets and change the litter in Scylla's box- His cat goes "Meow" but he really means "Hey!". Also, he misses his grandmother's pineapple tarts and none of his friends.

In honour of Lisa completing her Master Cleanse cleanse, and having Steven's flesh and bones in such close proximity again, we met for fries and ice cream last night. Steve brought along his cousin, Nigel, who has a face like a tourist attraction.

On the bus home from town, the kid in front of us wouldn't stop picking his nose. Nigel farted just to show him up, and then made me try to force a burp. I obviously couldn't because I'm not one of those burp- on- demand kind. Nigel was slightly offended and started calling me a hygiene snob. I had to cough violently for 2 whole minutes without covering my mouth and let him sniff my hair, to prove that I was not a hygiene snob. Does this mean we have given up on manners?

Have to go now. Love you all.

Day 020

Hi everyone, I hope your broadband was able to appreciate the images from yesterday. I probably shouldn't be allowed to predict the regularity of my posts anymore, but I will anyway: Very regular.

I've been wondering a lot what the next step of my life will/should be. Anyone can make a difference as long as they've got the drive and passion to back up their beliefs. I had to get myself a new e- mail account on Sunday, because I had a couple of really important e- mails to send out. People refuse to take juzzyroo@hotmail.com seriously. Where is their cool?

I woke up this morning feeling really exhausted. It's starting to become a trend. An hour before lunch, I decided to practise writing with a pen again. Isn't it so strange that my friends and I, we actually pay for our pens? They are, after all, the world's most shopliftable item.

Can I just inform you that besides losing my looks almost daily, I've been eating so many figs, it's kind of scary! I want to be as thin as water streaming from a tap- That's a little stupid, though.

This has been pretty random..... Haha, see you tomorrow!=)

Life lately, with some leftovers from 2008.