Justine

On a hot and sunny Saturday at the supermarket, my dad and I spent 15 minutes deciding whether we should get sweet potatoes that were from Australia, grown locally, or those tagged "Japan sweet potatoes (Vietnam)". We picked the Japan sweet potatoes from Vietnam, and lived happily ever after. The end.

Aha, ok wait, so the fishmonger, right? The fish washer guy? Whichever, you know the one who cleans out the fish guts and removes the scales for you at the supermarkets? Yea, that one. That one was trying to chat my mom up! Psssh, what kind of pick up line is "A Yellowtail for you, ma' am?", anyway? My mom, having left the dating field about a century ago, had no clue. In fact, she was sending out the wrong signals. She was all "Ooh... Yea, looking fresh." And she even............. (Wait for it) She even.................. Touched the fish.

I had to do something, because you know, ever since my dad left us- to pick up some muesli from aisle 7- it's been just 'Mom and I'. Ok, and honestly, my dad has no idea that I know this. But I know that he wasn't at aisle 7, picking up muesli. Because while I went around looking for Campbell's 25% Less Sodium Tomato Soup, I found him Not at aisle 7. Spotted: D (D for Dad) at the magazine stand, flipping through Men's Health. Unaware that Simon (read from name tag), head of the fish department, was trying to impress my mom (his wife) with his vast knowledge of..... Fish.

So I stood next to my mom, unimpressed, and gave Simon The Look. You know, the one that looks sorta like "Dude.... I am her teenage daughter. Therefore, she is not single and ready to mingle". He obviously didn't get The Look, because he wasn't even looking at me. (Ahaha!) So I shouted "MOM! I'm going to get a box of Handi- Snacks!". Right at that moment, I saw from his eyes, that his world had just crashed down around him. He shot me a look of despair. Yea ok, so maybe he did not shoot me a look of despair. So..... I am exaggerating. Slightly.

If you read this by any chance, Simon, I don't think you're too bad looking yourself. I know you know this. I mean, you must already know this because I think that it is a job requirement for you. But everyone says this to me whenever I get rejected/canned, so I will also say this to you. There are many fish in the ocean.

Oh, and then my mom got totally pissed at me and disowned me for like half an hour, after I pushed our shopping cart into some annoying kid who was probably 8 years old? But was acting like a 3 year old, with the height of a 6 year old. My mom was all "I'm so ashamed of you. I can't believe you just did that!" on my ass. Like as though it was my fault he's so short that I could pretend to not see him, and ram our cart into him. Well, I thought he deserved it. For being an annoying kid. You know, I think that's the price you pay for being an annoying kid at the supermarket.

All right, have to go. Goodbye, take care!