Warning: Bitch and whine mode

Hi friends! I could kill something right now.... Something like Andrew. He just spoilt my Thursday Night of Fun by surprising me with a big bottle of green tea. I was going to watch a lot of tv, eat ice cream, paint my nails and then sleep at 3 am. But now, I'm just going to read a book, and most probably fall asleep after a couple of pages. I have a funny feeling that normal girlfriends would
1) be touched by such acts of kindness.
2) exhibit some sort of gratitude, for being blessed with thoughtful boyfriends.
3) say neither "I don't want the green tea" nor "I'm going to throw it away".

But me, being me - uniquely Justine, I feel like killing him. And like icing on the cake, he said nice, sweet things when I sent him an indirect "piss off, leave me alone" text message. Is he for real? I feel like digging his eyeballs out.

To put an end to this misery, I've decided to give my boyfriend away. Anyone nice, sweet, funny and loving can have him. He likes candy and loves making out. Leave a comment if you're interested. However, if your first name contains 3 or more of the following letters: y, e, r, d, u, a, you aren't allowed to participate. God give me grace..........

I think I will delete this later, when my raging hormones have settled. And somebody, please run me over with a nice red car. I can't be human. Ok, cya.

How are things? My mom officially turned Old on Saturday. Like 55 years kind of old. It was sort of a big deal because my mom is a big deal. To be frank, we'd be very miserable and lost without her. And even though Karen and I have sworn to never be like mom, I think we both know that being like mom, is like being The Ultimate Mom. And who wouldn't want to be T.U.M. for their children, right? After all, your mother is in your bones.

Anyway, I got into a huge fight with her last night. Something about me having rnb hip hop on full volume and her blasting awful tribal music at 11 in the night. So at breakfast this morning, I refused to eat the ham sandwich she made for me. I know she knows I don't eat ham, I know she did it on purpose. I told her I wasn't hungry and that I'd give it to the homeless man I see everyday, on my way to school. Then she tried to kill the both of us by almost crashing our car into another car, on the way to the train station. Anyway, I ended up eating the sandwich during my break. (Still hater of ham, though.....)

Something good soon. Happy holidays, have a good week!

On the train today, I made a list of the disadvantages and advantages of having a boyfriend at age 16. My list made me realise that I shouldn't have a boyfriend. I personally feel that I'm involved in one of the most screwed up relationships... In Singapore. But that's just what I feel. (Hi Andrew! I miss you, wanna kiss you.) And sometimes boyfriends can be like pets, right? No, actually they're a lot more like pests, I think. Ok, just ignore me. I'm so full of myself right now, I'm being very unreasonable.

Have to go, be back tomorrow. Take care, everyone!

Haha what a qt, he looks so happy! Hey, ok so I finished the 2 cans of tuna in the fridge when I got home from school, because I was starving. Wasn't a very smooth move, because it made me feel like throwing up. Maybe I will call my sister and we can listen to each other throw up over the phone. Her morning sickness extends into the night, according to her. Right after the tuna, I overdosed on lime Tortally. Why do I torture myself like that? I guess it makes me feel alive, to feel the pain. Anyway I don't know why I finished the whole 2 cans of tuna. It's not like me to just finish cans of tuna I find around the fridge like that. I don't even enjoy canned tuna that much, because it looks like cat food. And I hate cats. Therefore, I expect that I'd hate cat food too. I know someone who actually likes cat food. Who isn't cat, but human. What's up with that, right? I stopped talking to her like... 3 weeks after I found out. My stomach must be majorly confused right now.

Anyway school was boring, meaningless and a waste of time. Ok, just the first half of the day. I got scolded during Math. Nothing new there. Chinese lesson seemed to be going on for forever. But I think that was because I was watching the clock too closely. Cons gave up untangling my dreadlocks after 14 seconds. She's not a very determined one, is she? J!K! (Inside joke...) This made me realise that I should start combing my hair. And maybe condition more often? (Yea hi Nancy, I know you're going to read this. Hahaha.....)

My mom made tofu for dinner. I l o v e t o f u=) Anyway, booooring. This whole daily blogging thing is not really working out for me. We'll see. Ok gonna have a shower now, fare thee well!

Can I just say that the weather these past few weeks really sucks cow balls? Anyway, I've only got another 3 days of school before term break. I'm so excited! Maybe even 3-1= 2 days! But I'm not sure yet. Maybe this week I will feel like going to school everyday, or maybe I won't. Maybe my Math teacher will be mean to me and the sun will be so unforgiving and I'd want to just stay in bed all day.

Today I officially put Nancy(Name has been altered to protect the guilty) on my "People I want to push into a drain" list. She was being a total bitch when she found out that the last time I laundered my jeans was last October. Actually thinking about it now, that might be a little gross. But I don't even wear them that often, anyway. And then she was being an even bigger bitch when she found out that I only condition my hair when I remember to, which is maybe once or twice a week. Maybe I like my hair like hay, Nancy. Ever thought about that? Ha ha ha.

At dinner with some friends today, there was this very irritating boy. I refused to laugh at any of his jokes because he was wearing a cap. I am not a baseball-cap sort of person, and I abhor people who wear any sort of headgear during dinner. Plus, he wasn't even wearing his cap right. He looked like an idiot.

K gtg, bye friends! (Sorry about being boring again)

Hi. How is all? Joy has returned to Thailand. Funnily enough, I will miss her. Kinda, since she helped with the dishes after meals and stuff. We've shared quite a few awkward moments of silence this past month, unfortunately. But I'm sure when she comes around again next month, things will be different. I'd be quite fluent in Thai by then, so I'd be able to tell her that Stu has genital warts and herpes, and we'd have so much to talk about.... In Thai.

Karen's pregnant again. Mom couldn't keep the secret, so we've all got to act surprised when Karen announces it over eggs benedict and bacon tomorrow. Anyway, my friends claim they have "sworn off love". I don't believe them though, because they're only about my age. And I think that as humans, we thrive on love. What the hell is love, anyway? Accepting others for who they are? Forgiving and forgetting? Self- sacrificial? All right, that's about as deep as I can go.

So how has your weekend been? Nut and I got our fortunes told by The Mouth of Truth on Friday night. That was pretty cool... And I think the highlight of my weekend. Sarah said that love is watching someone die. So who's gonna watch you die? Gonna go, have a nice Monday everyone!

Oh and I threw my cactus out a few days ago. I thought I should tell you, since I said I'd give updates. Things were getting a little..... Out of hand. Anyway it didn't have a name, I was still deciding between Corey and Lucy.

Dear everyone who reads this space, I am officially screwed. Yea 2 weeks ago, it wasn't so official. But now that I've got my results back, I think it's pretty safe to say that I have been irresponsible and I have failed everybody who once believed in me. (That would just be my parents, I think.) But fret not, this is only a temporary setback. I've got a plan......... My plan, is to be a regular at school and study hard. What's your plan? As solid as mine? I don't think so.

Anyway due to a slight chemical imbalance, I have chosen to avoid life. My mood has been swinging violently like a pendulum in a failed Science experiment. I shall remain in bed until I am ready to rejoin the world. Depending on the severity of my emotional irregularity, I will spend today either writing my Christmas list(since it is already mid May) or painting my mother's nails.

Ok have to go. Something good soon, take care.

Hey guys, how has your weekend been so far? I spent yesterday with Andrew and his family. And baking with him was, well.... Challenging. To be completely honest, we didn't even bake anything. Baking involves the use of an oven, I think? We made Tiramisu. Which was more of just whisking mascarpone, whipping cream and brandy vigorously, before sticking it into the fridge. Normal people(beating rate of 30 bpm) would take say, 20 minutes? Team Andrew and Justine took over an hour. And that's not even including clean up time. Andrew says that he's grown too much arm muscles, which caused him to mix about an eighth of our ingredients out of the bowl. At least now we know the downside of developing too much arm muscles.

I've lost Andrew. I've known all along that this time would come, whether I wanted it to or not. But I never expected it to come so soon. I feel like he's been taken away from me. Like as though the rug I've been standing on for the longest time, has suddenly been pulled out from under me. Andrew has finally become one of Them.

Defense of the Ancients (often referred to as DotA) is a custom scenario for Warcraft III: The Frozen Throne, based on the "Aeon of Strife" map for StarCraft. The objective of the scenario is to destroy the opponents' "Ancient", a heavily guarded structure in each corner of the map. Players use powerful units known as heroes, and are assisted by allied heroes and AI-controlled fighters called "creeps". As in role-playing games, players level up their hero and use gold to buy equipment during the mission.

Got that off Wikipedia. And I also found a website with 'DotA strategies'. I thought maybe if I enriched myself with such knowledge, Andrew would want me around more? Ha ha ha.... Or maybe I could tell him that playing too much computer games will make his special parts shrink. All right going for a swim now, stay lovely.

Our fridge is spoilt, and its inside smells horrible. My mom has no plans to get a new one. Instead, she is going to put everything into one of those Coleman Cooler Boxes. I wonder if she's spoilt the fridge on purpose... Since she is from the Paleolithic era and all.

Anyway as part of my plan to foster good relations with other human beings, I've bought myself a cactus. I am going to water it fortnightly, and greet it every morning. Or every other day, at least. My mom is quite annoyed with me because my cactus is apparently "giving off bad vibes" in her backyard. And also, earlier in the day I dropped 2 rolls of toilet paper into the toilet bowl, which I forgot about. The next plant I'm going to buy myself is the Mimosa pudica. (Slightly more responsive and human than the cactus.) But not too soon, only when I'm ready. In about 12 weeks? Keep you updated. Take care everyone, have a good weekend.

By the way, any suggestions for cactus names?

Hi everyone, how are things? I went out and met my mom for lunch, where she told me that I was adopted. And according to her, my biological mother wants me back. I don't understand, I've always thought she loved me the most out of all her children.

Anyway I just spent slightly over 40 minutes searching for the "Edit Profile" link on Friendster. I almost deleted myself off Friendster. But luckily I didn't, because I realised that I wouldn't be able to read my horoscopes without an account. And anyway, I want in on the action too. (Wait, what action?) Haha ok so I went Friendster- hopping after I finally got my profile mess all sorted out, and found that almost everyone has a thousand friends, or more. According to my page, I have only 200 friends. My account is a phony. Because I haven't said 'hi' to all 200 of my friends in real life before. Which makes them not my friends, because how can people be friends if they don't even 'hi' each other, right? Actually, I can count the number of friends I 'hi', with my fingers from just one hand. Even when I count Nut twice(Since she is BFF and all).

Have to go now. I will have something interesting to say tomorrow. Au revoir!

My Favourite Girls

My mom told Karen that her children "smelt like dogs" yesterday. Haha way to go, mom. Say it like you mean it. Post later, lunch now. Watch this space!

We're all capable of feeling the same emotions. But I've just learnt that people hardly ever feel the same way about anything. In fact, seldom are we on the same page as others. I have been quite naive. And I think it's time we stop expecting anything from anyone because clearly, being let down over and over again can't be a good thing. People stink, deal with it. (Kidding!)

When I had my first boyfriend, for example, everything was going great. Actually, I thought we had the best date ever. Just him, I, and a whole bunch of our friends went out for dinner and then hung out. But that night when he got online, he dumped me. Not even very sincerely, just flat out dumped me. The conversation went a little something like this,

J: Hey, I had a great time tonight, we should do it again. =)
Him: Yeah, I had alot of fun too. Theres somthing I need 2 tell u.
J: What??
Him: I don't like you, I never really did, your friends well they bugged me untill I asked you out. But you...your a really nice friend.
J: But, I thought we had such a fun time tonight. Can we still be friends?
Him: Yeah, About that, Im going to be really busy with school, and you know....
J: Yea, I got it.
Him: Thanks babe loveyabye.

He logs out.

Yeah, sure.........

We had a rather confusing relationship. See, we......... All right, whatever. A week later, he was going out with a new girl. So anyway, a few days back I bumped into him. We're the same height now. Haha whaddaya know, God is fair. Gonna have my Campbell's now, goodbye!