Day 088

Last night was for girls only.

Day 084

I stalked a (very cute) boy at school today. This is probably the most outrageous thing I've done all week. (Fyi, not doing your holiday homework is not outrageous.) I'll probably do it again tomorrow. And, maybe the day after tomorrow, and the day after the day after tomorrow, etc..... You get the idea. (Outrageous when I move my body, outrageous when I'm at a party, outrageous in my sexy jeans, outrageous when I'm on the scene..... You get the idea.)

The energy my classmates- excluding Charlotte- focus into mastering recurrence relations, I channel towards carefully planning my routes to lecture theaters. At recess, I eat my food at a strategic location while watching him drink his Ribena without a straw. (Straws are Not Dope enough.)

My androgenic hairs are standing as I type this. I'm creeped out by myself, too.

Jared has called my home phone twice now, inviting me to the park for drinks. Seriously, he might as well shout my name into my parent's bedroom window. I'll go now.

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Day 083

That's me with my hair tamed into a neat up do and armpit fat issues which resolved themselves over term break. You will also note that I'm wearing a tube dress which is very edgy, chic and hip. While a handful of you will say otherwise, this dress really is the bee's knees, the cat's pajamas, the clam's garters, the eel's ankles, the cuckoo's chin, the sardine's whiskers, the elephant's Weight Watchers, the pelican's Yohji blazer, the crocodile's handbag, or- as some of the fifteen going on sixteen year olds I know would say- the sex.

So, how are things? This morning..... As per usual, I woke up (late) and almost got oats all over myself and the car seat. After school, I thought about domestic violence while investigating the asphalt at the bus stop. (The texture's great, btw.) I have no idea why radio stations still play Chris Brown songs. It's ridiculous that so many people shy away from publicly speaking out against his actions, but are excessively eager to give their opinions on Britney's weight gain.

I've never really had a boyfriend hit me before. Most probably because of the simple fact that I've only gone out with a couple of losers before Andrew. (Ha ha ha!) Getting abusive out of anger is not only Not Dope, but also inexcusable. Everyone deserves to be treated with absolute respect and nothing but love.

That's all. Goodnight Singapore and Melbourne. And other parts of the world.

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Day 077

Movies I've watched this past week: Sid and Nancy, Freddy Got Fingered, Zack and Miri Make A Porno, 100 Girls, High Fidelity, Georgia Rule

You're probably thinking "Justine, where do you find the time, hmmmm?". I don't know, guys. I do not know. I am seriously just so busy. Between sleeping in and spending hours doodling/staying away from school work, it's beyond me, where and how I could even find the time and energy to dedicate the past week to watching movies. Somehow I did, and it was very hard work. Anyway, I gotta bounce. See you tomorrow!

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Day 076

Hey guys! My parents have been out of town for quite a few days now. Just some of the implications: Ice cream for breakfast, frozen things and potato crisps for lunch, cold pasta (dinner) at 4 AM. Also, leaving drool marks on Val's pillow, on the table at a prata house and on sidewalks. (Promiscuous.... Hmmm?)

For those of you who find yourselves frequently falling asleep in places that are Not Your Bed, you will notice that either your chin has gotten furry or your boobs have started acting strange. If you can help it, do not sleep at all. ('Cause sleep is for the weak.) It's not just very teenage and cool to not sleep, but it also speeds up the painful Unique Identity Search (teen thing).

I'm kidding, of course. Please go to bed tonight. Do not care for what the people in Bring Me the Horizon say (scream), I've seen pictures of them getting shut eye on the internet. (I've stopped playing scary music on mute. I get nightmares on some nights.) Sons of Azrael, Children of Bodom, Immortal Souls, See You Next Tuesday, Scar Symmetry, Let The Terror Eradicate....... I just named a few bands to show off my super dope taste in scary music. (If you like, you can view my entire list here.) The last band, Let The Terror Eradicate, is extra dope. You will want to check their MySpace profile out. (I'm not just saying that- I can also sign it, mime it, morse code it, do an interpretive dance to it.)

Anyway, the other night, Nigel- yea, we hang out with Nigel a lot- left his urine sample on the front left wheel of a Ferrari, we named Warren. (Name your car. Or your father's car. Or your mom's car. Or just name- on- the- certificate- of- entitlement's car. Name that car! It's very dope to be naming cars now.) I say 'urine sample' because after a spirited debate about the wheel rim design, rosary hanging from its rear- view mirror, colour of the car, the presence of a tissue box, type of dashboard clutter, and suspension height, we concluded that Warren belonged to a doctor. The only other people who buy expensive cars these days are lawyers, bankers, Indian chiefs, and fashion designers, by the way. Heh....

After that, we wanted to order 6 New York Deli pizzas and some cheesy bread sticks from Sarpino's but ended up calling the home of an angry woman who was rudely awoken by our large order and request for extra packets of chilli flakes. As a result, we got McDonald's delivered to us at lamppost 127 along a certain street.

On Monday morning, while walking along the river that was flowing towards an Irish pub that, according to Danial, was open and serving alcoholic beverages, I decided to join a band because right now it is very modish- Or dope. Whichever you like better- to be in a band. (Hey sweetheart! Battle of the Bands, hmmmm? Or maybe Live 'n' Loaded, hmmm?) Sarah plays the triangle, Kieran plays the soccer ball and may start playing bass soon. Danial does vocals in tune, and very nicely. I do vocals out of tune and I sometimes harmonise, if I feel like it- Also very nicely. Our sound is so fresh!!!!

Gotta go thaw lunch for Andrew and myself now. (How dare you tell me you've fallen out of love with me!) Bye bye

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Day 073

Dear devoted followers- I know there are at least 5 of you,

(Please) get more people to read this space and leave me witty comments. It's getting to be a drag around here. Tie them to a chair if you have to. Give them free night cream, or something. I literally have Carl and Raoul, my next door neighbours, tied to chairs in our storeroom right now. (I gave Carl $2 at the start of this year for helping me untangle the knots in my hair.) Anyway, more people should read this. Or else.

Ahaha...

All right, I'm going to get into bed now. Andrew and I have a walk in the park scheduled for 9 AM.

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Day 071

I hate phones. Contrary to this, I think I may get a new cell phone because the one I'm currently using is a shit. Sidetracking a bit: Trust me when I say this, but you do not want to be speaking at volume 14 into a crappy cell phone on the train, giving tampon insertion advice to your girl. People will stare at you like as though you have a second nose on your forehead. Where's their cool? Ummm..... Harrow! HI! Heh, it's so demode to still be using sanitary pads, when the first decade of the 21st century is already coming to an end. Get with the program- It's tampons or die, gals.

As I was saying, I hate phones. Stevie loved them- He used to ring me up at something AM and just breathe into the mouthpiece. This would go on for hours, and I would just put the phone down on my table and let him continue. He would fall asleep eventually and his sister would hang up.

On some days he'd pretend to be a salesman and say "Would you like to buy my vacuum cleaner?". Certain days, I might indulge him and say "Why yes, I would like to buy a vacuum cleaner. How much do they cost?". (I sort of speak in italics when I'm half asleep.) Of course he wouldn't say anything more, as though he was an actor with stage fright who let his next line escape him. Then I would say "Steve, I am tired of this nonsense, I am hanging up", and he would only continue breathing.

He's out of the country most months of the year now, and neither of us can afford the international calling rates. (We love email. Skype is okay. MSN is dead to us.) Also, we've both found other people we love speaking to at something AM.

All right, it was fun while it lasted- Writing about phones and tampons on the internet. It's not fun anymore. I'll be going. Have a good Friday.

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Day 070

I don't know how you guys feel about these, but I think Alexander McQueen has taken his Fall 2009 collection to new levels of neurotic. Gotta be out of your mind, if you have not already clicked on these images to enlarge them!!

The Paris Fashion Week has had my attention since last Wednesday. I am about as good as buried alive in school work/dead. Only by way of some crazy cosmic power and friends, will I be able to submit 4 essays by Friday. (I stress on the bit about 'friends'- Ahaha.... Kidding. Not. No... I don't know. Ha.) Clearly, I have not reached that level of maturity where I can strike a good balance between viewing pictures from runway shows and writing essays.

This has all been very "Oh em gee!". My keyboard is maybe water damaged now due to my excessive salivating. dvndQWke 3083h jhdalk.d, <<0asd.> Heh, goodbye!

Ps- Zooey Deschanel has lovely music, btw.

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Day 069

Can't say for sure whether I prefer his hair long or short, but I think I could build a shrine.

How has everyone been? There is so much to tell on here. I am most excited that the school term is ending. (Stoked!) I managed to get together with some old friends for a nice dinner over the weekend. While tests have been creeping up on us in school, Nut and I hung out at her sister's place to watch the tv and feast on Coco Pops. And then, sometime during midweek our planets- Andrew and I- became misaligned. I hate to admit this, but one of us would've had lost a nipple or been strangled into unconsciousness, if Andrew hadn't quoted "The Notebook".

(Ps- I've boycotted all Chris Brown songs, btw. I've decided to stand very still and clap offbeat in the middle of the dance floor, whenever a Chris Brown song comes on in the clubs.)

Anyway, I watched the sun sneak up above the corporate coloured buildings, on the bus ride to the polyclinic yesterday. Breathtaking- I usually miss the sunrise by either chatting Sarah up or copying her Geography tutorials in class. Watched news about dipping stocks scrawl across the plasma screen's bottom all morning, while waiting to see the doctor behind door 19.

Crawled back into bed for a long sleep before the funniest moment in my short history happened, as Andrew was trying to wake me. To safeguard the interests of the involved parties (Werdna), the only details I will give up are asthma attack and bouncing/jumping on the bed.

Went to school today and made fun of my classmate who wears a watch that is 22 minutes fast. And of another who uses hot pink ink to complete his assignments- It's "fucking gay" according to the scholar from Shanghai. Talked about the time, cute boys and everything non- sigma notation, while our Math lecturer droned on about sigma notation in the background.

I've had the Ferry Corsten club mix of "Human" by The Killers on repeat the past couple of days. You are insane if you haven't already started listening to the album. Gotta go, stay gold.

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Day 062

Hi! The college is having its annual cross country meet tomorrow. Ugh. Ew. Ahhh. (All things negative.) Jon (longhair4lyf@hotmail.com) came up with this ingenious plan to run the first 20m, and then eat Pringles and Lay's while walking the remaining 4km.

Sometimes, I find sitting with boys at recess kind of similar to eating a bowl of noodles in a poorly ventilated toilet cubical. We sat away from them today and played Shoot, Shag or Marry. Everyone made an unanimous decision to shoot our Physical Education Rep. (aka letsgetSUPAphysical92@hotmail.com)

Anyway, sexgod_1989@hotmail.com.cn, who sits behind me during tutorials very publicly accused me of having a love bite today. After which, he immediately offered to do all my Chinese homework for me. I accepted, and decided not to kill him- He's a scholar from Shanghai.

After weeks of close observation, I've concluded that there might be a force field around the area where I sit in class that while protecting me from monsters, also increases my digestion by 5 times the normal human speed. Sarah's Oreo cookies came in very handy around noon the other day- Fifteen minutes after I'd finished a plate of sambal chicken rice.

In desperation, we depleted our supply of weird flavoured nougats this afternoon. Virtual hugs for anyone who can name one person who eats peppermint flavoured nougats by choice. The eternal question springs up again: Have advancements in technology been successful in eliminating world hunger? (8 marks) *LORMS much- Geography geek joke*

So tired these past few days: I've been staying up past 2am, trying to determine my face shape (square/pentagon) and..... A bunch of other stuff. Hey guys, having a sleeping disorder is the next big thing after having an eating disorder and taking Xanax, in case you didn't know.

Anyway, Andrew and I inadvertently celebrated Jon Bon Jovi's 47th birthday yesterday. We went to the market for breakfast and bought mangoes home, which we ate when we got up from our nap. In the night, Andrew let me squeeze his blackheads and clean his earwax.

Have to go now. Love you all

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Day 060

weheartit.com, ffffound.com

Good morning! Or is it good afternoon? It's so easy to lose track of time these days! School work will do that to you. Well, ideally anyway. Playing Rock Band dead into the night will also do that to you. My brother Stu got in from L.A. earlier on in the week with a triple cymbal expansion kit. Rock Band has never been the same.

The weather all week's been pretty insane! I think I might start dedicating stormy days to bed, the TV, beef stew and.... Bed. How has everyone been? I'm glad to announce that I have gotten over most of my culture shock. My nose has stopped feeling as if it's going to fall off my face whenever boys saunter past- Body stench (BS) which is unique to boys, can be lethal when boys move in masses and especially so, after they do jumping jacks.

I also participated in an intense discussion about condoms during our last Math lecture, and managed to pick up some DotA lingoes. And on top of all that, some fun facts about vagina dentata. So........ I don't know. I'm considering sharing with them how the menstrual cycle works.

For those of you who can't understand why I either black out or get muscle spasms around boys, I spent the last decade studying in a school where tonnes of girls (to be exact 6 out of the 7 on the school's netball team) wanted to be boys, girls kissed other girls (and they liked it), girls had boyfriends, girls had cute boyfriends (Hi.... That's me!), girls saw boys as exotic animals, girls had long- standing fictional relationships with Fernando Torres (Yea, what UP Constance!).... In short, it was single- sexed.

Anyway, gotta bounce. Take care

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