Got up today with The Nastiest Hang Over of '08. (TNHO'08) Life doesn't wait, or even slow down a notch. My mom dragged me into town to collect my passport. The estimated waiting time for collection was 2 hours. (2 hours is not even remotely cool, ya'll.) 10 minutes into waiting, my mom abruptly got up and left because I was "ignoring her". I was stunned, obviously. None of my teachers have ever abruptly walked out of class before. So that was the first time, that I'd gotten into any sort of trouble for falling asleep with my eyes open.Close to an hour later, Lisa's Exboyfriend #3 gave me the shock of my life by falling into the seat next to me. Lisa and I placed a curse on #3 the weekend they broke up- He was supposed to get fat. She's definitely not going to like me saying this, but he's gone and gotten himself hot instead. Lisa, you have no one else to blame, but yourself. I told you we needed more of his hair.
Just slightly after 2 pm: Being the proud owner of a brand new passport that expires only when I'm 22, I called my mother. We met, and she made me cry over lunch because "Mommmm, I really don't know what floor the shop is on." I am not even joking. And I take back the "Kudos to mom!" from the previous post. According to my mom, I must know which level of the mall this certain shop is on, because I'm at the mall a lot. I, however, am refusing to give up this information because.................. I am an evil daughter. I didn't look at her for the rest of lunch, embarrassed that I let her make me cry over something so stupid.
Anyway, we went shopping after lunch. (Yea, irrational mother and supposedly evil daughter, together.) I broke a plate in one of the shops- Not on purpose. It had one of those "Nice to touch, nice to see. Once broken, pay money" policies. Pretty insane. Honestly, I wasn't even the one who broke the plate. It was my faux leather bag. But, was my bag going to pay for the damages? Does my bag even have a stable monthly income? No........ Not really. It's only faux leather, hello? So, who pays then? The person the bag belongs to? I can't see the justice in this. I don't have a stable monthly income either. Although, you know, I just remembered that I do belong to my mother. There's an idea.....
So, I've decided that I will never drink alcohol again until I'm forty. I think everybody has at least one night a year, that they swear to never touch alcohol again.
Year 2007: Shaunna ordered her friend Faith to stick her fingers down my throat, to increase my chances of standing up without falling over that night. Not a great success; Still unable to stand up without falling over the next morning, after purging half my brain and some of the alcohol out.
Year 2008: Having neither Shaunna nor Faith, only dry gin with 47.3% alcohol, we were laughing at everything and anything within 3 minutes. I also managed to extort $2 from a drunk friend, despite all odds. TNHO'08 the following day. (Today.) Deadly.......
I don't think I even knew what alcohol was back in 2006. Happy midweek, everybody!